Moving

Hey everyone. I have recently moved my blog. You can now read it at http://agirlwhodreams.com/

A Glimse of 2010...

This has been another crazy year with my youth ministry work, grad school, playing music, and trying to keep up with friends and family. There are a few things that I am so grateful for this year that have helped me to grow and change as a person for the better.

One thing that has changed me the most is the graduate program that I’m in. I’ve learned so much from all the classes that I took this year. I feel so much more knowledgeable about my faith and now understand the “why” behind beliefs instead of just accepting something just because someone told me to. We are taught how to think for ourselves and how to discover and search for answers to the many questions about faith issues. Theology is faith seeking understanding and the search for truth is a lifelong journey. We can’t pretend or insist that we already know everything there is to know about God and faith. There’s always more we can discover and learn. In fact, the more I learn about life, the more I realize how much there is about this life that I don’t know and may never know.

“As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.” ~Socrates

This has taught me to be humble and to be more open to learning new things. Even if I don’t agree with the ideas or beliefs of others, I recognize the importance of still learning about what they think and believe. Everyone has their own life experiences and the more we can make the effort to understand where someone else is coming from the more we can realize that we actually have more in common with each other than we think.

A few of the classes I took this year also really inspired me to become more aware of what goes on in the world and fueled my passion for social justice. We are lucky to live a privileged life here in the U.S. but in other parts of the world there are so many people who struggle for even the most basic of life’s necessities like food and water. I’ve really pushed my students this year to learn about social justice issues going on in the world and to make a difference, even if it’s in small ways. Our theme for this year is, “Make a Difference.” I hope at least some of my passion has rubbed off on them. I believe that we are all called to be the face of Christ to the world by helping others and loving others deeply.

Something else that I’ve been so thankful for is real and lasting friendship. I’ve learned a few life lessons about friendship this year that have challenged me but also helped me to grow as well.

I’ve begun to recognize just how much of a blessing my friends are in my life and how much they care about me.

“Friendship is a blessing in any life. For believers it is also one of the ways God communicates God’s own friendship. But for friendship to flourish, neither the friendship nor the friend can be seen as an object to be possessed. One of the best gifts to give a friend is freedom.” ~James Martin

Most of my closest friends live in far away places at the moment and yet I’ve still managed to still maintain those relationships and stay connected with their lives. I guess I can thank technology for helping with that! Since moving out here several years ago, it has been a struggle to find meaningful, real friendships. It’s hard to find a good friend, especially one that you can really connect with. For the true friends I’ve been lucky enough to find, I am so thankful. I wouldn’t have made it through the year without you. I can’t even begin to explain how much even a simple chat over coffee or a skype session can really fill me up with joy. So thank you!

I am also very thankful for a job that I love and find meaningful. It definitely has its challenges and struggles but the fulfillment I get from my ministry has been worth it. The teens I work with always fill my life with laughter and joy. I love watching them grow and discover their unique gifts. I know that they look up to me and I try my best to be a good role model and to encourage them and help them recognize their own worth and value. Every time I see a teen step up into a leadership role I feel so proud. The awesome things these teens accomplish never ceases to amaze me!

One last thing…

Ok, I have to admit something. This summer I had to move out of my apartment and I debated on what city to move to. I finally decided to move to Forest Grove because it seemed like my only option. I was so resistant at first because I had never lived in a small town before and could not bear the thought of being so far away from a big city! However, I soon found myself secretly enjoying the small town life and the joy that came from feeling more like a local. I love that Forest Grove is tucked away in the country, away from the busyness of traffic, shopping malls, and people always in a hurry. So as much as I like to outwardly complain about the lack of fun things to do in Forest Grove, I’ve really grown to love where I live… and I’m very thankful for discovering that.

I have so many more things to be thankful for this year that I wasn’t able to include…but perhaps another time!

Thanks for reading.

Yours truly,
a girl who dreams

Digital Story of the Nativity

I've been meaning to post some things...I know I always say that. But I really have to have some inspiration to feel like writing. So look for some posts soon. In the meantime, I thought I'd just share a cool video about the Digital Story of the Nativity. Cheers!

I Don't Even Know What to Title This Post...

Well it is about time I made another post. I guess I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been busy. But that’s not really a good excuse because when is my life not busy??? Well, I’ve been doing school again this semester…I just finished up my last classes and now I just need to write my final papers. BLAH. Don’t get me wrong. I love school, just not having to write the papers. But I guess it’s not so bad. For my Liturgy class, I’m writing a paper on Simbang Gabi, which is a Christmas Filipino tradition. They do a novena starting nine days before Christmas and there’s lots of fun music, decorations and of course excellent Filipino food! For my Religion and Culture class I’m writing about Ignatian spirituality. If you’ve attended a Jesuit university you might recognize this. Basically Ignatian spirituality is about finding God in all things and becoming a contemplative in action – meaning living your life as a prayer. Our spiritual life doesn’t just include going to church and praying – it includes everything from friends, family, playing music, baking cookies, washing dishes…God is found in everything. Putting our faith into action is a big part of the Ignatian way of life and that is why I seem to resonate so much with it. I love being able to help people and work for social justice! So let’s just hope I can focus on finishing these papers soon. That way I can join in all the enticing festivities this holiday season has to offer. Snuggling up by the fire with Christmas cookies, coffee, and a good book sounds nice…

Cheers!

Yours truly,
a girl who dreams

Live. Laugh. Love

Well it seems that I have not posted in a long time…whoops. All I can say is that life is crazy. I went to China this summer which was an amazing adventure. I can check that off my List. If you want to see pictures you can find them on my facebook. If I have time I’ll write a post about my travels, but that may be awhile…

I also just moved to Forest Grove. I have been avoiding this for three years now (only because it is so far away from everything) but now that I am here I love it. Funny how that is. I love that I get to ride my bike to work everyday and I that am within walking distance from downtown. When I’m biking I tend to notice my surroundings more and I have really been enjoying the beautiful summer scenery. Maggie’s Buns is on my way to work if I ever want to stop by for stumptown coffee and homemade scones. I also see people I know everywhere I go so that’s pretty cool too.
Last weekend I visited one of my best friends in California. It was so good to see her and just hang out like we used to. We were long overdue for some much needed girl time. She’s one of those friends that I can hang out with and do absolutely nothing and still have a fun time. I’m really thankful for having friends like that in my life.

It’s been a good summer and it’s hard to believe that it’s almost over. My life feels so crazy sometimes but since when has life ever been calm? I’m learning to just enjoy life in the present moment…for all its joys…and the craziness too.

Mabuhay. Tumawa. Magmahal.
Live. Laugh. Love.

Yours truly,
a girl who dreams

Made in China

This is sort of a continuation of my social justice musings from the last post...

I just finished a research paper on sweatshops within the garment industry and the information I found was unsettling and not as black and white as I expected it to be. I originally chose the topic because of a news article I had read in the New York Times, “Can Low-paying Garment Industry Save Haiti?” A lot of people hoped Haiti could recover from the economic effects of the recent earthquake through an increase in the garment industry. But this was an increase in the low-paying garment industry. The argument of this type of economic approach is that by bringing in more business to the factories, more people get jobs. And those people then put that money right back into the economy when they purchase their basic needs such as food and clothing. So the economy wins. Hurray for Haiti! But what about the workers? How do they benefit from all this? With a factory job they can make $3.09/day. How is that benefiting the people of Haiti? And yet, without a factory job they are much worse off…

Sweatshops exist because large companies seek out the best place to produce their products by looking for the cheapest labor. It’s a competitive race to the bottom. Who can offer the cheapest wages? And workers desperate for jobs will accept whatever they can get.

Everyone knows what a sweatshop is. Everyone knows that sweatshops still exist today. But what do we as consumers do about it? Nothing. And if we did in fact decide to boycott a company that used sweatshops we would 1) find it really hard to do this because most companies employ sweatshops and 2) only hurt the workers because a boycott would lessen production and thereby cut jobs (and paychecks) of the workers.

Eliminating sweatshop labor would require a lot of systematic change. We can’t just boycott factories without providing the means to fix the more underlying issue – poverty. It comes down to this: what are we doing to help developing nations fight their way out of poverty so that a race to the bottom isn’t necessary anymore? To protest that factory labor exploitation is wrong is the first step but taking action needs to follow that. Unfortunately, not a lot of us have the means nor the power to affect systematic change by ourselves. That is why I believe that education among friends and family is key to getting the information out there. The more aware the public is about an issue, the more demand there is for change. Only when we can educate others will we bring together a community of people that work together to make a difference.

And what is one of the best ways to share information? Stories. That is because stories capture the heart in a way that nothing else can. I just read two very awesome books about the sweatshop industry. Where am I Wearing? by Kelsey Timmerman, and Factory Girls by Leslie T. Chang both offer interesting insight toward understanding not just the manufacturing industry but a closer look at the lives of the people who work in the factories. I highly recommend both books! Factory Girls was especially intriguing and I found myself relating to a lot of the girls that Chang interviewed. Their struggles with the need for true friendship, for upward mobility, for independence, and having to deal with boy problems and dating are all things that connect with my own life as well. It’s so cool to know that other girls across national, social, and economic lines are struggling with the same things I am. I recently found out that my Lolo (grandfather) was a migrant worker too. He had to leave his home in the Philippines to find work in Guam. He sent money back home and got to see his family maybe once a year.

We are all closer than we think and the more everyone realizes this, the more we can develop stronger relationships throughout the world. It seems such a simple thing to say but we are all human with similar human experiences of love, friendship, and struggle. So why don’t we quit fighting each other and work for peace instead? But I’m getting off the subject.

Everyone has a right to basic needs and a chance for them to better themselves and their family’s lives. This is basic Catholic Social Teaching. Human rights are the minimal conditions needed to protect human dignity. If basic rights are not met, such as the right to work, to have a living wage, and to be treated with respect, there exists a degradation of human dignity that lowers some below others. Sweatshops are no stranger to degrading human dignity by exploiting workers, depriving them of basic rights as a human being. Unfair conditions and wages create an inescapable situation for workers who have no choice but to accept the life they must lead under these conditions.

While we as workers deserve the fruits of our labor (i.e. private property) to help better our lives, if that trumps the common good we no longer have that right. Pope John Paul II explains, “The right to private property is subordinated to the right to common use, to the fact that goods are meant for everyone.” (Laborem Exercens) When there are billions of people around the world who don’t have their basic human rights met, it is our duty to alleviate that. Catholic Social Teaching calls Christians along with all people to take part in changing the conditions of the poor, the voiceless and the powerless. For how can we live in a privileged society seeking out riches and taking advantage of our right to private property when there are people who are in great need? The inequality does not have to reside in our world.

God calls us to love others and to act justly. Jesus emphasizes this notion through his example of loving all people equally, reaching out to the outcast of society and the poor and vulnerable. The call to imitate Christ is intimately tied up in the call to bring about peace and justice in our world. “According to the Christian message, therefore, our relationship to our neighbor is bound up to our relationship to God; our response to the love of God, saving us through Christ, is shown to be effective in his love and service of people. Christian love of neighbor and justice cannot be separated. “ (Justice in the World)

The more I learn about the struggles of billions of people in other countries, I feel a change within me. I can never go back to the same way of living my life. I think that a fear I have is that my passion will die out. I will become weary of trying to work for change and make a difference. “Saving the world” is tiring and often discouraging. My fear is that I’ll become discouraged and simply settle back into my former way of life, ignorant to the world around me, unaware of poignant issues in other countries, choosing to walk a path that is less unsettling and requiring no action on my part.

I hope I never go back.


Yours truly,
a girl who dreams

Does it Make YOU Uncomfortable?

I don’t know how to say it. I can’t seem to put into words everything that I’ve been experiencing and dwelling on the past few weeks. I wish I had the vocabulary of a friend of mine. He has the ability to pull out the most unique and refreshing word choices at a moments notice. But my limited and uncreative words will have to suffice for now.

“What am I referring to?” you might ask. I’m talking about a lot of things. Poverty. Water…or lack thereof. The H2O project. Sweatshops. Social justice. Solidarity. The common good. Peace. Hatred. Love. Ignorance. Understanding. Community. Empowerment. Action. All these things have pervaded my thoughts and spilled out into my conversations; they have enriched my world view and changed the way I live my life. These things have also made me uncomfortable and made those I’ve talked with uncomfortable as well.

“What are you wearing that bracelet for?” a coffee barista asks me as she rings up my pastry.

“I’m doing the H2O project. We give up all drinks except water for two weeks and the money we save by not buying juice, soda, coffee, etc we donate to an organization that provides clean water wells to developing countries,” I say all in one breath. It’s not the first time I’ve had to say this spiel. Apparently people are pretty curious about strange looking bright blue bracelets.

“Oh…I’m guessing you won’t be wanting any coffee to go with that pastry.”

I smile and ask for a water cup.

Coffee girl’s response was a fairly mild one compared to some of the reactions I’ve gotten in the last two weeks. When you’re at a bar, people notice right away if you’re not drinking, and they always want to know why. When I was asked why I wasn’t drinking, I replied with my usual H2O spiel. However, at a bar that is apparently a conversation killer as I soon found out. Sometimes people don’t know how to respond to something like that. Maybe it’s because when people go out to drink and be merry and a conversation comes up that puts them in contact with things that make them uncomfortable, they don’t like it. But I suppose this is a natural reaction for many. Who wants to dwell on poverty and exploitation in developing nations when you’re trying to have a little Friday night fun? It’s not like it’s a bad thing to want to talk about things that liven up a conversation like embarrassing stories or funny anecdotes. There’s a time and a place for everything. But what I’ve been grappling with is finding that balance between living an ordinary life and yet living in awareness and solidarity with those who live on under $2 a day.

One thing that I take away from the H2O project is a small feeling of solidarity. And when I say small I mean small. I could never pretend to have gone through the same experiences that one billion people on this planet face. I didn’t have to walk several miles to get my water, I didn’t have to share the same water source as a herd of cattle, I didn’t have to get treated for diarrhea or other water diseases. Heck, I only had to give up extra drinks like coffee and slurpees. I drank clean fresh water everyday and merely giving up the extras was more difficult than I realized. However, I felt a sense of sacrifice (hopefully experiencing even a fraction of the sacrifice that many face in getting clean water) and even that small amount was enough to change me. I never really understood what living in solidarity meant until now. Isn’t that ridiculous? And even then I don’t know that I will fully understand it until I have truly experienced and lived in poor or harsh conditions. This makes me uncomfortable because I realize how privileged we are to live in a developed nation and how complacent I have become in the comforts and pleasures of a middle class American. I now realize that anyone can give money to help poverty but nothing transforms one better than actually experiencing even a small part of it. So where does that leave me? I’m not really sure yet. It’s a journey that’s for sure and I hope to learn more, experience much more, and hopefully change myself and others along the way.

I have more to say. To be continued in Part II...

Yours truly,
a girl who dreams

H2O Project

Did you know that a billion people in the world lack access to clean water? And that every 15 seconds someone dies from a water related disease?

My youth group is doing a service project to help raise money to build wells in developing countries. It's called the H2O Project. For 2 weeks we are giving up all drinks except tap water and take the money we'd normally spend on soda, coffee, juice, etc, and donate it to an organization that builds clean water wells. Check out this video to see how others are making a difference.



Are you inspired to help others in need? You can help support the cause by going to our page and donating to the project.
St. Anthony's Youth Group Page


You can also take the H2O challenge with us. If you want more info about I can definitely tell you all about it. Or you can visit the H2O Project website at
http://www.theh2oproject.org

"...and the world spins madly on..."

“How you act is who you are.
If the world is to change, you cannot leave it to somebody else.
You simply cannot pray that things will get better.
We cannot merely pray to God to end war,
For God made us able to find the path to peace.
We cannot merely pray to God to end starvation,
For God gave us the resources to feed the world.
We cannot merely pray to God to end despair,
For we have the power to give hope.
We cannot merely pray to God to end disease,
For we have the minds to find cures.
Therefore we pray for strength to do instead of merely be.”

~ Fr. Bill Beauchamp

Lately I feel like my life is changing…or perhaps I am changing…hopefully for the better. I am just finishing up my second semester of grad school and the two classes this term have really opened my perspective to the world and I have not felt the same since. I feel as if, as the Jesuit Volunteers say, “ruined for life” (in a good way). I can never go back to seeing and living in the world in the same way anymore. Both courses were very social justice oriented and left me with a sense of commissioning and a call to help others and work for a better world. I don’t know how that fits into my life yet. I obviously can’t change the world on my own. All I can do is offer my gifts to the world and live life as fully as I can.

“We do not have to be saviors of the world! We are simply human beings, enfolded in weakness and in hope, called together to change our world one heart at a time.” ~ Jean Vanier

I don’t know what my future holds. I used to think that I did. I used to think that I had everything planned out down to the last detail of how my life should be and how it would play out. All my life I’ve lived that way, following my plan with adamant energy and pursuit. But now it all seems so silly. Who says that I have to live life by a carefully drawn out plan? I don’t mean that we should all be irresponsible and not plan for the future. What I’m really trying to say is that everyone’s life is different and the timing for one person may not be the right timing for another.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~ Joseph Campbell

I feel a little lost and I don’t know what I should be, or rather, who I should be. All I know is that I want to love others, to inspire others and to help others realize and grow in the gifts they’ve been given. I want to show Christ's love to the world.

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” ~ Mother Teresa

I feel like life moves so quickly. If we spend all our time trying to plan our future, we loose sight of our lives today, right now, in the present. I’m really just preaching to myself, as sometimes I forget about living today because my mind is always days ahead. It’s been a crazy year with a full time ministry job and trying to survive grad school at the same time. I guess along the way I forgot to simply enjoy and live my life as it is…whatever it is…

“…and the world spins madly on…” ~ The Weepies

And after all my realizations and revelations I still haven’t figured out my life (does anyone really?). I have a few ideas on where I’m headed and I guess I just have to see how that plays out.

Yours truly,
A girl who dreams

Yes, the Rumors are True...

Meet my new love of my life...my new Martin guitar!



I can't stop playing and writing songs!!! Here is one of them that I'm working on. Let me know what you think. And sorry if my voice if a little hoarse, I've been singing all day!

yours truly,

a girl who dreams

Music for the Soul

I truly feel that music has the power to move the soul in amazing and mysterious ways. I also think it's so cool how it can heal and uplift people. As a musician I feel a particular attachment and love for the beauty of music. The melodies, rhythms and lyrics speak to me in such a powerful way that nothing else seems to be able to do. I can always tell what kind of mood I’m in by the music that I listen to in any given day. Sometimes I need music that will uplift my mood, make me want to dance, or simply to express my emotions. And sometimes I listen to music just to allow me to think, or maybe daydream about far off places and people. Have you ever spent hours lying on your bed listening to good music? No? Maybe? Hmm, maybe that is the introvert in me. But I really do feel that I do my best thinking when I’ve had time to be alone to reflect and drink in the melody of a beautiful song.

Lately I’ve been in a very reflective mood. Maybe because I’ve had a lot of crazy things going on in my life and I haven’t taken the proper time to process it all. Whatever it is, my mind has been on overload. Sometimes when I do too much thinking it can drive me crazy. Luckily, this time I found a way to channel it all into song. I haven’t been good at writing very many songs in the past year but the other day I wrote four songs. FOUR songs! Craziness. Anyways, that was really exciting for me, and in the process I was able to sort some things out that were giving me some anguish. I hope to finish up these songs and record them soon. Then I can share them with you all. In the meantime, I want to share a song that I love. It's by Jason Reeves and Colbie Caillat. I may have posted this before but oh well, you can just hear it again. What song feeds your soul?

yours truly,

a girl who dreams

25

So I’m sitting here in Starbucks trying to figure out my life (haha good luck with that) and I decided to write down my life goals. Then I remembered an earlier blog entry I wrote called “The List.” I made it about a year and a half ago about the goals, silly and serious, that I wanted to achieve one day. So I pulled it up to see if they matched my current goals and whether I had done any of them yet. I’m proud to say that yes, I did learn to surf in Hawaii. But that was about the extent of my goal achieving triumphs. Most of the others remain yet to be touched. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing. Some of my goals I know will take many years before they take shape.

As I grow older my priorities and goals seem to be shifting, sometimes so subtly that even I don’t notice at first. But notice I have, and that leads me to do some serious reflecting and soul searching to figure what direction my life is heading. Who knew that turning 25 could lead to such a dramatic quarter-life crisis (Does that even exist?). I think our modern society plays a part in this dilemma I find myself wading through. My generation is experiencing something that our parents never did. In our parent’s generation, people graduated from high school and possibly college, then got a job and settled down in their twenties. What twenty-something today really knows what they want to do with their lives? College, peacecorps, studying abroad are all ways of prolonging the time when a young adult must enter the real world and get a job and a meaningful career. The problem is that most of us can’t figure out what that life-fulfilling career should be. What will make us happy, yet still pay the bills? And by bills I mean the tremendous student debt that accumulates during those years of living in utter bliss of what lay beyond school and a life of no responsibility.

But I digress.

I really wanted to share my current life goals and where my life seems to be heading. I heard somewhere that writing down a goal increases the chances of actually achieving that goal. Let’s hope that will be the case here. Don’t laugh. Some are indeed whimsical and romantic. But a girl can dream right? Here they are in no particular order:

1. Travel, travel, travel!!! With so many friends traveling abroad to study, work, and live, I can’t help but be jealous. I think traveling to other countries is so enriching and changes your worldview and perspective on life. It’s also good for the soul to experience new adventures and meet new people.
--Backpack across Europe. If I had the time and money, I’d do this in an instant! There’s so many places in Europe that I’d love to visit!
--Travel to China – if Kristen ends up taking the job as a teacher in Beijing, I want to go visit her and visit the Great Wall of China. How awesome would that be?
--Visit the Philippines – I’m half Filipino and this was also where my Dad was born. I feel the desire to see the country and experience the culture there.
--Go to World Youth Day 2011 in Madrid, Spain – how cool would that be to be amongst thousands of Catholics from around the world? It would be a simply amazing and powerful faith experience.
--Travel in South America – then I could work on my Spanish while having amazing adventures.
--There are so many places that I’d love to travel to but I think I’ll stop here or I’ll be at this all night. Donations to the Deborah Travel Fund will gladly be accepted. ; )

2. Work on my music and ministry career – I love youth ministry and speaking and music and somehow it would be nice to use a combination of all those in a ministry job that paid well…hmm is that possible?

3. Work on music technology/recording skills – recording and mixing music is one of my passions, but I have not delved much into it…yet

4. Become a coffee shop singer-songwriter. And then record a CD.

5. Meet someone who makes me laugh, encourages my heart to be joyful, inspires me to live out my faith everyday and challenges me to grow into a better person. (I don’t know when I’ll meet this mystery guy but I do know that the wait will be worth it for not settling for less than what I deserve.)

6. Have a family - I love families and I hope to have my own one day... See #5

7. Inspire people to live their lives to the fullest by doing so myself.


Lastly, here are some cool quotes I thought I’d share with you:

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do. --Pope John XXIII

Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. --Howard Thurman

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. --Maya Angelou

I haven't got it all figured out but at least I'm singing my song. Well that's all for now. If you actually made it this far, thanks for reading this. Goodnight!

yours truly,
a girl who dreams

Show at Moxie's

Last night my band played a show at Moxie's in downtown Vancouver. This was our very first show (well...where we played more than 3 songs) so it was quite exciting for all of us. We ended up playing for about an hour and a half which is a big accomplishment considering our short repertoire of songs two weeks ago. My friend Amanda took a few video clips so here are two of them. The first is from a song called, "Essence of the Beach" which is an original song I wrote a few months ago. The other song is from a cover of "All or Nothing" by O-Town. Hopefully we'll get some full recordings of our songs at our next performance.





PS - We still don't have a name for our band so if you think of some cool creative names let me know!

Grad school here I come

It's a Saturday morning and I've spent it applying for grad school and studying for the GRE. My brain hurts already. I hope I know what I'm getting myself into next year. Lol. For those of you who don't know, I'm applying for a masters in Pastoral Ministry at a joint program with University of Portland and Gonzaga University. I start this fall and the program lasts for 3 years. Even though I know it will be a lot of work I am getting really excited for it. I love being a student and learning new things. Plus two of my friends who are also youth ministers will be taking the program in the fall as well. So at least I will have friends in my classes.

Inspirations

I love Colbie Caillat. Her voice is so relaxed and beautiful. Everytime she sings it makes me think of a relaxing day, sitting on the beach and playing guitar. She inspires me and I hope one day to be like her.

D Update

Man, it really has been awhile since I've written. I really have come to like blogs more and more but I guess I tend to do more posts on my other blog for my youth group. But since this is my blog and all about me, well, this is what I've been up to.

I've been getting more into music lately. My friends and I started a band, well I guess you could call it more of reuniting our band since we used to have a band in high school. I play guitar and sing backup vocals, my friend Jen sings lead vocals and my friend Kristen plays bass and sings backup vocals. We've been practicing a lot and finally had our first gig a few weeks ago at an open mic in Vancouver. It was so much fun and it reminded me of how much I love performing. It was really cool because since we had invited a lot of friends and family, they were cheering for us as we went up to the stage. They made us look like we were a really big deal...I mean, we are a big deal...

I've also been getting together with my friend Jenny to collaborate on music. She plays piano, I play guitar and we both sing. We played for the first time last week at a coffeeshop in Salem. I've been having a lot of fun playing music with her. She's very silly like me and one day we made a commercial for our gig in Salem. I think most people watch it and wonder about us. I just laugh.



The more i get into music, the more I want to spend on fun toys that will help me improve my musical abilities. The other day I almost bought a Ukelele because I thought it would be fun to learn. Right now I really want a loop station. I almost bought one today but then realized that I have no money. Eventually I will have one though. They are so cool. I mean just watch this video and you will want one too.

Here Comes the Sun

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's alright

Little darling
It's been a long, cold, lonely winter
Little darling
It fells like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's alright

Little darling
The smiles returning to the faces
Little darling
It seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's alright

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Little darling
I see the ice is slowly melting
Little darling
It seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun
It's alright

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun
It's alright
It's alright

Hope vs. Optimism

So I’m writing today because I have writer’s block for a talk I’m writing and I thought this might be a more creative way to get out my ideas than in an outline. Here, my ideas can just flow out in whatever form they want to. So here goes…

Hope and Optimism
What is the difference between hope and optimism? They seem to be similar. In fact, when I googled the term “hope,” several entries came up with the idea that hope is a belief that one’s circumstances in life can turn out positive. But I think it goes deeper than that. I believe that the correct term for that definition is closer to optimism. Optimism is when you believe things will turn out great and life will get better. Hope, I feel is a more long term idea. Hope is knowing that not everything in life will turn out great, but knowing that there is good that will come in the end. Our hope is in Jesus, knowing that while we suffer on earth, there is redemption and salvation for us. We go through our lives with hope because we know there is good coming our way at the end. Jesus promised us this and Paul speaks about it in Romans 8:18, “I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us.” That is why if I didn’t have faith, if I didn’t believe in God, I would not understand this world at all. What would be the point of living? Why would I go through trials and suffering without hope of some kind that it would all come out good in the end? I don’t think I would want to live in a world without hope.

Suffering and Goodness vs. Free Will

OK, so it's been a long time since I've written a real post...something with substance and thoughtfulness. I guess I don't write that often because a lot of it would be too personal to post here (that's what journals are for!). But that's no excuse...there's plenty to write about, it just takes some effort on my part.

Anyways, lately I have been thinking a lot about the idea of suffering and goodness. I recently had a Theology on Tap night about, "how can there be suffering in the world when there is a good God who loves us?" The summary of the night was that God doesn't give us suffering but merely allows it. Sometimes people say when a loved one dies that "God wanted to take them, it was their time." I really don't believe that. God doesn't take people from us but he does know it will happen and he allows it. It all goes back to having free will. If God stopped suffering, he would have to take away our free will.

So then I got to thinking, if God doesn't stop suffering because he can't take away free will, then how does he work good in our lives? What I mean by this is, how does he have people do things to bring about good? For example, everyone has always told me that God has a specific person in mind that God's going to put in my life someday and it will be the person I will fall in love with and marry. But how can God do that if he doesn't interfere with our free will? He can't make that person do something or be somewhere at a certain time in order to meet me...can he? Then how does it work? Does he plant an idea in our heads and we have the choice to listen or not? It's hard to understand how it works because I know that personally I am not very good at listening to God sometimes. I bet I've missed a thousand suggestions from God. I guess God already knows that sometimes it will take a thousand hints until a person finally listens. Maybe he has already planned for that and somehow it all works according to his plan anyway. I still don't quite get it though...

Bread on It

LOL. My friends made a video spoof on the High School Musical 2 song "Bet on it." Check it out!



Just in case you have no clue what the song is actually supposed to be you can watch the actual video.



And of course don't forget that High School Musical 3 is out this weekend! Try not to get swarmed by 13 year old girls!